Friday, March 20, 2015
Last week was our Spring Break. (Although, right now that feels like it was months ago!) We really didn't do much of anything. Justin had to work and the weather was horrible, so Emerson and I just spent a lot of time at home together. There was a lot of sleeping late, movie watching, coloring, and Little People playing, which was perfectly fine with me.
At the very beginning of the break, we found out that one of my students from last year had been diagnosed with brain cancer. His mom and I also share an office this year and have become great friends. He had been sick with headaches and what seemed to be a stomach bug off and on for a few weeks. The day we left for break, we were debating whether or not he could have mono because things just didn't seem right.
After an especially rough day the following weekend, they took him to the ER where it was found that he had a mass at the base of his brain. He had surgery about 3 days later to remove it, and now he faces weeks of chemo and radiation.
Y'all. Granted, I did not birth this child, but once a kid has been in my class, they are forever one of "mine." He is one of the sweetest, most kind-hearted, good natured kids EVER. Add that to the fact that I love this kid's mom like crazy, and I am not exaggerating when I say that this has completely broken me. There is not a single day that I don't wake up with them on my mind and go to sleep the exact same way. I have honestly grieved for this family and what they are facing in a way that I never have before. And I know if it has impacted me this much, it has to be excruciating for his parents. It has absolutely broken my heart. This is going to be a long, exhausting, trying road for them.
HOWEVER, I also know who holds Ty's tomorrows...who had planned his days...who has not only seen his future, but is already there waiting on him. There is ZERO doubt in me that God can use this for His glory. He already has been!!
This whole situation has stirred up such a fight in me. It's kind of the last straw. This school year has been devastating in so many ways. From cancer to death to car accidents to suicide to major health problems to drama to chaos, you name it and it has hit my school or our friends. I'm honestly to the point where I'm not sad anymore. I am ticked off. I'm ticked off that satan is flat out picking on my people, and I'm ready to do something about it.
Even in my own mind I am fighting a lot of fear. We have the twins' anatomy scans Monday. Every day I have that little voice telling me that something is sure to be wrong. I'm the only one on my team at school who has not had a tragedy this year...surely my number is up. I'm fighting it though. That is NOT truth! That is NOT how God operates! I will not sit back and be fearful. God gave me the word "warrior" at Pursued last summer for a reason. I'm ready to battle it. I am battling it.
I'm ready for this season of devastation to be OVER. However, I am so grateful to see the glimpse's of God's hands moving in and around people. I am thankful for the hope that we have in Him. We are not alone. We are not forgotten
I am so, so grateful every day to have that promise. This is not the end. I know who wins in the end. :)