Monday, March 3, 2014

Timing is Everything

I happened to catch this sweet moment walking into church yesterday.
It pretty much made my heart want to explode with thankfulness.
I struggle with trusting God's timing. It's better now than it once was, but it is still something I have to actively lay at God's feet multiple times a week day.
I struggled, like I am sure many girls did, with the "When will I meet Mr. Right?" mentality in my early 20s. It's kind of hard not to when you go to a college whose motto was "A ring by Spring or your money back." They lied, by the way. I got no ring, and I have yet to see any of that money back. At the time, I had days I really struggled with this. I was NOT a girl who walked around pining away for some guy, but that little jealousy of wondering when it would be my time popped its head up now and then.
Then, after timing and circumstances that were clearly God-led, I met Justin. He was so much better than anything I could have picked for myself, which was evident in the character of the few guys I had dated before him. Trust me. I was so grateful that God knew better. Even when I was trying to rush Him to hurry up and give me a husband, He knew better. He planned so that Justin and I both were ready for each other when the time was right.
A couple of years later, I found myself doubting God's timing when it came to having a baby. I had my plan, and wanted to be pregnant NOW. Even though I was saying I trusted God with timing, there were moments of panic that it wasn't happening when I thought it should. Even though, I prayed diligently and waited for God to tell me when I should pursue help with fertility. Through that, God gave us our sweet Emmy Kate. Not only did He give us a kid who is beyond anything we could have asked for, He timed it perfectly so that I had her at the end of the school year. I don't doubt for a second that God was blessing me with the entire summer with that baby.
All that to say, I've had practice with this. I know that God's timing is perfect, and His plans for us are so extremely beyond anything we could think of ourselves. I still struggle though. I'm struggling now with wanting and expecting things to happen in my time.
Back in October/November, we thought a job opportunity was opening at Justin's work. It was a promotion that we had been praying for and waiting on. For us this would mean, the possibilities of having a second kid...building a house...being more financially secure. Then, news came that they were not going to fill the open position, and just like that our plans and our timeline went out the window. Notice it was "our" plans and "our" timeline. I won't lie...both of us have struggled with this. Feeling like we had these goals at our fingertips, and finding out they were not going to happen when we thought they should was disappointing.
Then, I see things like sweet, caring, helpful, funny, loving husband holding hands and walking my precocious, funny, sweet, loving, incredibly smart little girl into church...and I know that God has so much more than a promotion in mind for us. His ways are better than ours. His timing is perfect. He has plans to prosper us, not to harm us, plans for our future (Jeremiah 29:11). He is not withholding anything from us because we aren't worthy of them. He's withholding what WE think we need so that He can give us what HE knows we need.
I don't know about you, but I want what He has for me. His track record is much better than mine.
Matthew 6:25-34
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

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